Thursday, May 8, 2008

I know, right?

A couple of weeks ago, mid-sentence, I suddenly became aware of the fact that I use the phrase "I know, right?" far too often. And then, coincidentally, days after this revelation, I learned that some of my friends had already noticed this rampant over use months prior, and frequently reveled in my ridiculousness. This made me think of the many ways that I test the boundaries of tolerability, walking that fine line between being a super fun, sassy friend and patently annoying nuisance. And, as it turns out, the list is not short. It is worth noting here that I was able to tabulate this list with the help of Gabrielle, a lover of lists, who by the speed and enthusiasm with which she tossed out her suggestions, must have been secretly waiting, aching for the opportunity to inform me of my numerous annoying, sandpaper like, grating characteristics. So, you know, thanks for all of your help, Bitch! Kisses.

It is not the actual breadth of my annoying attributes, or any one specific off putting trait. No, it is my assumption that people will or should make allowances for them. While I, myself, am not always necessarily willing to return the favor.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I think I am great. My myriad of voices and outlandish mannerisms, catch phrases, and general effervescence are all the things that make me uniquely who I am, and, you know, so fun to be around. (That is except, of course, for Gabrielle who is only merely tolerating me.) I find that these very qualities, however, when pushed a little too far, which must inevitably be the case, are precisely the things that can get on people nerves. I totally get it.

But god forbid anyone around me have a strange quirk, or signature word. When and if I am confronted with one such person, it can go either one of two ways. First, I might find their uniqueness to be hysterical and try my best to emulate it, and incorporate it into my own little traveling circus. Or second, I will be totally and completely unable to get past it. Like a song stuck in my head it will consume me, and I will be able to focus on nothing else (you know, as discretely and politely as possible).

Now you are all probably wondering "oh no, is Jacob only tolerating me?" And the answer for most of you, of course, is yes. No, no, no, dry those tears, I am only joking, those whom I find to be intolerable are rarely graced with my presence, and most certainly would not be reading this blog.

It is strange though, right? This weird culture of co-opting other people's words and phrases. But it is simply unavoidable. If you spend enough time with someone, you are bound to share a common language and set of mannerisms, it is only natural. I find, however, that I am extremely, perhaps even pathologically, susceptible to this phenomenon. Like Madonna, given enough time around anyone with an accent, and you can be sure that I will begin to unconsciously pick it up. Hell, I can barely get through two episodes of Absolutely Fabulous without going British myself. It is a sickness. I am fully aware. As an example of this neurosis, I am sure none of you were able to escape my recent use of the word "charming," which like a parasitic virus, took an all consuming hold of my entire life, no thanks to Gabrielle, from whom I stole the word in the first place. I faced my "charming" intervention with courage, however, and have successfully completed a grueling rehabilitation, and can now proudly say that I use it much less often, perhaps even an appropriate amount.

So I guess the moral to my story here today is that I get that I am fun and sassy, and also that I can be a little too much from time to time. It is all part of my charm. And, as for those of you who don't pass my extremely lax co-opting test, and find yourselves on my intolerability list, get a life. You are not charming. You are annoying!

I know, right?


Pamela said...

I'd like to see that list, as I am having a hard time imagining your overused phrases. I know, right?

Seriously. We already chatted about this. I think that emulation is flattery but lord. For what its worth, I use your title phrase a lot...hopefully without the fake British accent or overdramaticism.

Let me know how I'm doing.

I sincerely love you!

gabrielle said...

you've stolen everything from me! and what's worse is that you make it YOU more than it was once me! QQ I dry my tears and tolerate you and your genius ---- but yeah... ;)

Cheyenne said...

If we're merely tolerating your flagrant excesses and redundancies, then why are we all running around saying "I know right?" and deeming everything "fabulous" and "charming?" Wake up and smell the flattery dude.

adam said...

I've been told my signature word is "Brilliant".

Duh... it's the only word I speak aloud.